You can never anticipate what life is going to throw at you. Not knowing makes it both scary and exciting. Did I anticipate last Monday that today I would be looking for a new car? No way. In a way, it sucks. My truck was paid for, I could carry lots of costumes and props, it had a six CD changer. It was also big, took a lot of gas, and was a remnant from my "past life". So it is also an opportunity. I get to pick out something that appeals to me, is more my size, and MUCH more fuel efficient. I am just rolling with it because there isn't another option.
Situations like this come at us at work, in relationships, at home, heck...even in the grocery store. The point is not to let them drown you. Get up on that board and have an adventure. Some of the waves are bigger and scarier than others, but at the end of the day, you've conquered something and are relaxing in the sun on the beach. You just have to trust yourself and know that everyone is dealing with something.
So, today, it's a twofer. Many, many wise people have said that good things come to those that wait. And normally, I am not a sit around and let things happen to me kinds gal anymore. This weekend, however, good things just came my way.
I will be getting a larger than anticipated pay-out for my truck.
I got to go away with a very special person.
I meet young Simba from the Lion King.
I saw Stephen Frye in Grand Central.
I got to hug my bestest friend.
I ate at John's Pizza.
Alan Rickman sat in the row ahead of us.
Oh yeah...I got to seeing the very first performance of How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying!
Danial Radcliffe was 25 feet away from me :)
So, yeah, nothing deep. Nothing philosophical. Just this: Just wait, things will come your way too.
You know what? My way or the highway just doesn't cut it. You know why? Because (almost) every road has two lanes. Yours and the other guys.
“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Compromise isn't always pretty and it sometimes isn't very much fun. You have to really have to analyze what is important to you and what might be negotiable. Or what you need right now and what you can wait to develop. I'll admit that in some situations, I have trouble with this. There are somethings that I just want without question. But sometimes patience and compromise are necessary. I continue to strive for a better attitude. I fear that while I do not want to compromise my principles in any way, I may also be jeopardizing relationships for things that I am unwilling to budge on.
Without our relationships, our lives would be pretty empty. It is our job to work on them, help them to grow, and not get thrown by little obstacles along the way. So, it can't always be our way alone. When you're driving together, you have to create the map together too.
I am a dreamer. I am a hoper. I am a wisher.
I am also a rememberer. I am an anniversary maker. I can dwell on the past.
For today (and hopefully onward), I would like to dedicate more time on being present. I don't just mean living for this exact moment. I want to do that more too, but I also mean appreciating what I have at this moment as well. That could be something as simple as cup of tea or as meaningful as an overall feeling of contentment. I want to really be mindful of each experience.
I do not want to foresee the future. I am concerned with taking care of the present. God has given me no control over the moment following. ~Gandhi
I want to notice the taste of my tea, the warmth, the aroma, how it makes me feel. I want to appreciate every touch of another's hand. I want to revel in whatever is making me content, cultivate that feeling so that I can bring it back again.
Memories are powerful. So are dreams and goals. But don't discount this moment either. This moment is your life.
If I have learned just one thing in the last year, it is that I am resilient.
I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.~Louisa May Alcott
I had a huge fear of living alone. Now, I enjoy my own time, my own space, and my own decisions. Instead of consulting on everything, I get to do what I want to do. If I want to get from work, put on my sweats, watch my DVR and eat curry, I can.
As most people know, I have never been a big fan of driving. It makes me nervous...winter driving, even more so. So, what happens this year? I flip my car---twice. I walked away both times with just a few bumps and bruises. I could shut down, refuse to drive again, be chauffeured, but that just isn't practical. I need to drive to live my life.
There was a time that I thought that I would never really be happy again. It was a dark and sad existence. I had allowed myself to be defined by my marriage and had lost touch with two very important things: myself and my friends. To say that I have the most supportive friends in the universe would be an understatement. All of my friends really came forward to remind me that I am loved. I rediscovered things about myself. I branched into some new things which mean a lot to me. My life is actually richer for the loss. I bounced back, sunnier and more confident than before.
When you are having hard times, remember how strong the human spirit really is. Just when you think that you have taken all that you can, if you look closely enough, you will find that there is a little more in there. Trust me on this one, I speak from personal experience!
I love to plan. I mean really like to plan--meals, trips, dates, rehearsals, chores...everything. One of the things that I really like about planning is the anticipation of the event. Gathering ingredients and materials, thinking about what I could do or what will happen...
Inherently, I am kinda lazy. I like spending the day in my pjs. I am a bit of a couch potato in my "free time". But equally, I love to get a lot of stuff done. Especially if I get it done early enough to also enjoy part of the day. Today was one of those days.
The feeling of accomplishment is one of the best. Selfishly, I especially like it when I get a ton done on my own. It makes me feel like I really do know what's what...almost (gasp) grown-up. It is important to remember on days that we are down or feel like we are not contributing to society that we don't give ourselves enough credit. Who painted that living room? You did. Who made dinner for the week? You did. You shoveled the driveway? You did. Who is a great person? You are.
Do you remember that scene in Mary Poppins where they are all on the ceiling laughing and singing? I wish that my days could be spent the same way sometimes.
I love to laugh...at myself, at you, at stupid things on the internet, at gas, at little kids, at just about anything. I am so glad that I have that ability. I strive to never take myself too seriously. There are some people who just can't do that. They think that they are too mature, too busy, too important. I feel badly for them.
Saturday posts tend to be short, but sweet: take some time to find humor in the world. You'll be glad that you did!
As children, we are often encouraged to use our imagination. In fact, it is even part of the elementary curriculum. Sadly, as adults, the beauty and joy of using our imaginations is rarely promoted. I think that we would be happier people and a more joyful world if this situation was rectified.
The world is but a canvas to the imagination. ~Henry David Thoreau
Many go through life just doing what is necessary. Sleep, work, chores, bills, sleep, work, chores, bills...boring. Even if they do branch into something that might be a little out of their routine, it does not become their lifestyle. It is a novelty, something to be momentarilt enjoyed and then filed away. Poor saps.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. Imagination and creativity are my life's blood. Without my hyper-active imagination, the plays that I direct would be boring and flat and no one would want to wear a Funky Monkey creation. Without my imagination, I cease to be Weas. And I like Weas, she's a pretty fantastic gal.
So, this weekend, I challenge you. REALLY use your imagination. Paint a picture, stage a photo shot, bake a cake bigger than your dog, create a meal out of the contents of your fridge, write a poem...heck, start that novel...but really delve into your mind and create something from inside you.
I'd love to hear your plans and your accomplishments. I can imagine all the wonders already!
Yes, even crappy stuff. Now, don't argue with me about this one. I know that your Mom may have said this to you as a kid and you resist agreeing with her. Me too, me too but I think that she may have been on to something with this one.
Even the bad stuff helps to develop who we are. Adversity shows us that we are stronger than we think, can do things we never thought that we could, and still survive. When they said "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger", I think in a way this is what they meant. Hard decisions can hurt your head, twist your heart, and scramble your stomach but in the end, you are prouder having made them. You truly own them.
Good stuff, obviously, has a reason as well. It lifts us up, restores our faith, allows us to believe that miracles can happen. The biggest benefit of the good is to balance the difficult. And you know how I feel about balance...
Good or bad, every action and decision helps to make us who we are.
I have always been a big believer in this sentiment, if if I haven't always been the best practioner. I have often fallen victim to assumption. "_______ will know what I am thinking/feeling/wanting about this situation. I don't need to tell ______ and certainly don't need to spell it out by showing them." WRONGOLA!
You may not realize this, but our friends and families are not mind readers. Shocking, right?
In 2011, I hope to be able to not just talk the talk, but also walk the walk. If I want to be treated with respect, I must show respect. If I would like a little more affection (and really, who doesn't), I am prepared to show it. Now, I don't want this to be a one way street. I hope that those folks that I interact with regularly give a little more action.
I'm not saying that I don't see this already to some extent. Jen and I make food and share it as an expression of our friendship, Sarah stocks my favorite tea for chats over the Doctor, my kids bring me ice cream and make P&F references all the time, Kevin loads his Netflix queue with cartoons. I want to do more. I want us all to do more.
Another rough day on the positivity front...killer cold, big changes that I had been avoiding, a huge chocolate craving...ah well. I will survive! In fact, I will be come back tomorrow even better than before. A few more NyQuil, some time on the treadmill, and looking toward the future will see me through. I can't change everything that I would like to change today, I can only change me and my attitude.
“We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy." ~Walter Anderson
At this point in my life, I am all about finding peace and contentment. To do that fully, I must learn to trust again. Like everyone, my life has had many situations in which my trust was betrayed. That happens to most of us, I know.
That lack of trust has hampered me in the past. I has affected my ability to maintain some of my relationships. I definitely don't want that in my future. I need to make sure my words match my message, be very very careful of keeping secrets, and let my needs be known. In addition to choosing happiness, I also choose trust.
Again, a short message but something I am truly striving for. I hope you are doing the same.
Okay, I admit it...I am happy. If you told me a year ago that I would be happy right now, I would have been very disbelieving. But I am.
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. ~Buddha
Many things have contributed to my happiness: my friends, my students, my abilities, my passions, my attitude. I make a conscious effort to be happy every day. As the opening page of this blog states, happiness is a choice. I chose it.
I am content in my relationships (more than content in some), I am content with my current place in the world (though changes may be on the horizon), I am content with myself.
Do you watch Phineas and Ferb? Everyone knows that I do and and I am not at all ashamed. On P&F, there is a couple-an overbearing wife and a mousy husband. When he makes a decision that doesn't always seem prudent (ie: buying a bunny farm but no bunnies) she always says, "What? Did you think ________ were just going to fall out of the sky?" And do know what? What he needs does exactly that. But you know something, Kids? That's not real life...that just a cartoon. We can't just wait for things to fall into our laps. We have to make things happen.
"Henceforth, I ask not good fortune. I myself am good fortune." ~Walt Whitman
Walt was one smart cookie. We make our own luck, our own happiness, our own futures. If we just stop and wait for them, we will be waiting a very long time. The first step is just that, taking the first step. Want to be heard more at work, then speak up. Want to do what you love, then put down the remote and pick up the whisk, running shoes, hammer or whatever you need to make that a reality. Want to relax more, then say no more often. Only you have this power. Now use it!
Change is hard. Everyone on the planet can tell you that. What is really hard is realizing that the only change that you really have control over is yourself. But that can make all the difference.
"The only way to change our lives is by changing our minds." ~Ross Cooper
I had a hard time with this concept at first. I thought, "Why should I be the one to change how I am or what I am thinking? They (insert a multitude of possibilities here) are the ones who should change." Then I read a book* that helped put things in perspective. Now I am not really one for self-help manuals (even though I love a good mantra), but it helped in a lot of ways because it wasn't about striving for perfection.
It stated, "You can't change them. You can change yourself." and discussed the Relationship Equation. "In the Relationship Equation (A+B=C), you are A, B is someone else, and C is the relationship you have with that person. You may never be able to change B, the other person, but that doesn't matter. You have to power to impact the relationship just by changing A, yourself. Being able to alter C, the relationship, is what matters and you can do it."
This has made a huge difference to me. I can never change the way my friend is always late, but I can change my expectations. I can not change some of my professional relationships, but I can change how much they effect me.
I have several friends who are struggling with their careers and what to do next, some struggling in relationships, some with family...Lord knows that I have been struggling with my relationship with my Mom since conception, I think. But I can't change her or her thoughts or her actions. What I can change is how I let those things shape my today and my tomorrows. I may just find that with these changes come peace.
You know what I really like? Me.
You may be thinking, "Well, that's pretty narcissistic." I disagree. I believe that you can't ever really love anyone else unless you love yourself. Many agree, RuPaul, for one. Popeye always said, " I yam what I yam." And if you can't have faith in Popeye, then who can you trust? The theme comes up in literature as well. Shakespeare is the obvious choice, but it doesn't have to be that highbrow.
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.--Dr. Seuss
I am sappy. I mean dripping from the trees sappy. Motivational quotations plaster both my house and office. Songs with meaning blare from my Pandora all day and flow from my ipod on every run and workout. And you know what? I am totally okay with that.
I am nerdy. We are talking uber-nerdy. I have introduced myself (on more than one occasion) as Queen of the Geek People. I direct Shakespeare and really enjoy it. When I got Doctor Who gifts for the show/my birthday, I was ecstatic. I read for fun. I think that educated humor is freakin' hilarious.
I have NO rhythm. None. You may have noticed that the only dance that I do with regularity is the Davy Jones/Axl Rose dance. Why? Because that is the most rhythm that I have mastered.
I can cook. I can also eat. Like a champ. I may be petite and quasi-fit, but I can also eat like a trucker. A huge burger, fries, onion rings, and shake sound like Heaven to me. As much ice cream as I can hold. A steak as big as my head.
I can't sing but that doesn't stop me. I belt out show tunes like Patti LuPone. American Idol's got nothin' on me.
I am a darned good friend. Need someone to clean your basement with you? Shoe shop? Cry over a boy with? Eat? Give you a good gift? Make you laugh? Be a buffer? I am your girl.
I like who I am. I am not ashamed of anything. Liking me helps me to like each of you even more.
Be who you are. Don't let anyone tell you that you have to act differently, look differently, think differently. Revel in yourself and all the things that make you YOU!
Not everyday is going to be a great day. Today I, like all my fellow CNYers, had to drive to work in less than optimal conditions. It took me an hour and 20 minutes to make a 40 minute journey. I was both frustrated and a little freaked out. Last Tuesday was the same. 2 Tuesdays before that, I flipped. But once I step back and look at the situation, this particular cloud isn't as stormy as it could be.
a. I have job to have to drive to.
b. I have a car to drive to said job.
c. I lived to tell my whiny story.
d. The weather is making me a stronger driver.
e. It also makes me appreciate the other 3 seasons MUCH more.
f. Making it home is so much sweeter.
The next stop on the whiny train is this freakin' head cold. Sneezing, blowing my nose, feeling like I have 200 lb. weights in my face. How could there possibly be a silver lining to this you ask?
a. Except in very extreme cases, head colds aren't fatal.
b. In what other circumstances (besides infancy) is it okay to sleep for 13 hours?
Life happens. It is what you make of it that's important. I am choosing to see the bright side and polish up that silver lining. I challenge you to do the same. What is happening in your life that seems horrible, but actually has a glimmer of goodness?
Today's thought comes from on the this country's preeminent philosophers, Jimmy Buffet:
I'm growing older but not up.
My metabolic rate is pleasantly stuck.
Let those winds of time blow over my head.
I'd rather die while I'm living than live while I'm dead.
I certainly agree with Jimmy on this one. And this quotation may interpreted so many ways:
You are only as old as you feel.
Seize the day.
Live for every moment.
Don't wait for life to happen.
Maintain your childlike innocence.
Today may be cold and blustery where you live or it may be toasty and warm. Maybe the team that you were rooting for lost, maybe they won. Maybe you feel like nothing is going your way. Don't lie down and just let that happen. Explore the wonder that is the world around you. Appreciate what you have and strive for what you want. And remember that age is just a number, not a restriction.
Make the most of your Monday. It's your chance to start off a whole new week in a positive way.
"One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives."
-- Euripides
I have been blessed in my life with many friends. Some I have known for since childhood, some only a few months. Some are years older than me, some are young enough to be my children. And every single one of them is equally important to me and fulfill integral roles in my life.
My oldest friends know where I come from and how hard I have worked to become the women that I am. My newer friends have the benefit of the more confident and self-assured Weas. Each version of me is a little different and a little nutty, but equally genuine. I hope that my friends know how much they have helped to shape each and every version. They appreciate my off-kilter sense of humor, they bolster my confidence, they laugh with me, they cry with me.
Without them, I would have had a much harder time making it through 2010. For that, I am eternally grateful. I am striving to be a better friend to all of them. Please know how much I love you all.
"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." ~Eleanor Roosevelt
Many of of feel stuck in our lives...bored with our homes, unsatisfied with our jobs, trapped in a less-than-fulfilling relationship, the list goes on. We begin to think that we deserve what we have and resign ourselves to our lot in life. But why? We deserve a whole lot more than we give ourselves.
In the coming year, I would like to take inspiration from my friends. I have three friends who are branching out and following their path and I have decided that they have the right idea. One quit her job and is pursuing her passion by going to culinary school, another is in nursing school, and a third is preparing to take his GRE. These friends are inspirational to me because they didn't just sit and let life happen to them. They have made monumental decisions to make their lives happier. All three have chosen different career paths later in life and will be more fulfilled because of it.
My life is busy and in many ways rewarding. I will be the first to admit that it is my creativity drives me most. Directing shows and designing jewelry are my passions. As 2011 unfolds before us, I plan on making those parts of my life a priority. I would love to be a full-time jewelry designer when I grow up. I need to take steps to make that dream a reality. What am I waiting for? Nothing is holding me back but me. No more.
If you know me well, you know that balance is important to me. Okay, maybe not physical balance (I fall over all the time) but balance in my life. I tend to keep pretty busy between work, directing shows, training, my own jewelery business, maintaining relationships, and once in a while, relaxing (gasp!). The key to doing all these things is balance.
I have, at times, struggled with spending too much time in one area of my life and neglecting others. I can get so caught up in rehearsals and set plans that I don't spend as much quality time with friends. I sometimes get so involved in the day-to-day of paying bills and doing my job that the studio feels like a foreign place.
In the coming year, I hope to be able to prioritize my life in a way that means most to me. That may mean that a basket of laundry stays unfolded so that I may go on a hike with someone special. The other side of the coin is that I may not always be able to get in that extra run because I have to teach a class or work on the set. My goal, however, is to concentrate on what I am doing at the moment and truly enjoy it. What are you doing to keep your life in balance? My scales may not always be in balance, but keeping in mind what is important will surely help. One can't be a superman in every aspect of their life, you can only do what you can do. Don't forget to give yourself a break.
"The best and safest thing is to keep a balance in your life, acknowledge the great powers around us and in us. If you can do that, and live that way, you are really a wise man." ~Euripides
I am an elephant. I have a long memory for almost everything--the good, the bad, the mundane, the trivial, the bizarre. Because my mind works in this way, I often hold on to things much longer than necessary. This is a particular issue when I take something personally. In a perfect world, I would be able to just let things roll off my back and realize that it is not always about me. I am working on that one.
This morning, someone in my world did something that angered me and that I took personally. I acted out on that anger this morning and could have let my annoyance ruin my day. I had to actively work on letting it go. Maybe it was personal, but it could also be due to outside factors. Regardless, why am I letting it bother me so much? Resentment and annoyance just sap our positive energy and make us miserable.
Are you holding on to something that makes you feel that way? Just let it go. You'll be happy that you did.
Having a grievance or a resentment is like drinking poison and thinking it will kill your enemy. - Nelson Mandela
Okay, I admit it. When I woke up this morning, I found it difficult to imagine being positive today. Exactly 2 weeks ago, I flipped the truck and was the Amazing Flying Weasdini so the thought of driving in the snow did not excite me. It brought to mind my father who frequently said, "If it's not _______, it's ________." You know, If it's not bills, it's housework. If it's not heat, it's humidity. If it's not snow, it's ice. In other words, it's always something.
You know what, Dad? It IS always something, but why must we always assume that that something has to be negative? So, I challenge you. Instead of pairing 2 things that make you miserable, try to think of 2 positive alternatives. Such as: If it's not the ice cream, it's the toppings. If it's not the sunshine, it's the bird songs. If it's not the hugs, it's the kisses. Feel free to comment and help to change the collective perception.
If it's not the smiles, it's the positive thoughts that change my day.
