There is such a thing as spreading yourself too thin and having unrealistic expectations. There was a time where I would disagreed with that. Granted, I stay super-busy now but I chose (most) of the things that I am busy with. I choose to channel my energy into them and avoid wastimng my time on futility.
Not to be too personal or one-sided, I am pretty happy with life overall. I am back to doing the things that I enjoy and have really started to focus on what is important to me, especially my health. The things that really knock me for a loop is lonliness and not having a life partner. I recognize that I have freedom that a "coupled" person rarely experiences, but...
I am trying to fight the good fight here: focus and me and what I can control, not on other people, their choices, or how they effect me. I admit that I am struggling. I am channeling too much of myself into being lonely. I am wasting my precious time lamenting that I have no partner. That has to stop.
How can I truly enjoy all that I DO have if I am mourning the life I COULD HAVE had? As I try to push through this fight, I am learning more about myself. I have learned that I am a great partner and hope to share those qualities with someone again, but I have also come to appreciate (or at least I am trying) my solitude. I am discovering myself more everyday and I am truly thankful for that. As I become my friend a little more each day, I hope that the lonliness dissapates and I am happily alone.
It is a tough fight, but I think I will be the one on top in the end.
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